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How to improve the relations during crisis of the birth of the child?

02 January 2018
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  1. Female and men's view of the child's birth
  2. How to solve a problem?
  3. What does the husband have to do?
  4. What does the wife have to do?
  5. Video: family crisis after the child's birth

The firstborn's birth for a young family — not only great joy, but also serious test. If till the birth of the child of the spouse live only for themselves, in the pleasure, then with the advent of the child everything changes — the husband and the wife have many new problems. The kid demands to himself maternal attention round-the-clock, as a rule, and care. And if the husband and the wife are psychologically not ready to similar vital changes, in their relations there are serious problems. Newlyweds begin to quarrel and sort out endlessly the relations, than complicate already difficult situation even more and destroy a family.





Statistically, after the birth of the first child of the relation become worse approximately at 65% of married couples. Not for nothing in family psychology emergence in a family of the kid is considered the crisis period. But at one married couples it turns out to overcome with combined forces this crisis and to improve the relations whereas other families through rather short time after the birth of the kid break up.

Why does that happen and how to married couple to cope with crisis of the birth of the child? To understand it, let's listen at first to the points of view of the husband and the wives enduring such crisis, and we will try to analyse in what they are right and in what are wrong.

Female and men's view of the child's birth

Olga 21 years:
"To birth of the child my husband seemed to me the best man on light. He always with me was gentle and attentive, never assumed to raise the voice on me and even about the house tried to help. But as soon as our son was born, the behavior of the husband strikingly changed. Not only that it almost does not help me with the child, so he also to me makes a claim that a pier badly I care for it and I pay not enough attention to it! I awfully am tired, caring for our son how he is not able to understand it?"
Victor 25 years:
"When we had a child, the wife absolutely ceased to pay attention to me. Well, I also can stroke a shirt to myself, and I will be able to warm up a dinner. I already try not to pay attention that it became unbalanced, nervous and quick-tempered. Can burst into tears out of the blue. But business already reached that sex at us — only once a week! She constantly complains of fatigue. It is asked then she so is tired if it the whole day of the house, and I stick the whole day that to provide a family?!"




As we see, at everyone the truth. From outside both the husband's arguments, and arguments of the wife seem logical and reasonable. So in what then a problem and why crisis of the birth of the child pursues many families? And the problem is covered that young spouses in this situation see and understand only themselves, but do not even make efforts to understand each other and with combined forces to look and find a compromise way out of the available problem which would suit both of them.

How to solve a problem?

And meanwhile, once young spouses begin to belong with big understanding to each other and to try to change a little the behavior, the problem will be solved. Two therefore both the husband, and the wife need to change the behavior are always guilty of the conflict.

What does the husband have to do?

First of all, the husband has to understand that it is really very heavy to wife to combine care of the newborn and housework. Besides, young mother should get up often to the kid at night and therefore she badly gets enough sleep that cannot but affect her health. Therefore, for overcoming crisis of the birth of the child the main thing that the husband has to make, it to undertake at least a part of economic cares of the wife.

For example, so far the child is absolutely small, and the wife has nobody it to leave, the husband should most buy products as to the wife to run with the small child on shops very difficult. Secondly, the husband has to trust the wife when she says to him that she was tired. All day it is not so easy to nurse the small child at all as the person who did not face it can imagine!

And one more very important point of the crisis period: the husband has to try not to be jealous the wife of the child. Yes, yes! Many men, without realizing that, strongly are jealous the wife of the kid. It seems to them unfair that the wife gives all the attention to the newborn, and almost does not pay attention to them! But think: who needs bigger attention and care — the adult man, or the baby?

What does the wife have to do?

Even in spite of the fact that the child, really, takes away many forces and time, the wife has to try not to deprive of attention of the husband that to it in the head thoughts did not creep in that he was abandoned and it is not necessary any more. It is impossible to refuse too often to the husband intimate proximity — it can lead to serious problems in the relations, and even to push the husband on search of extramarital affairs.

Alas, male egoism, and with it there's nothing to be done is in a varying degree peculiar to one and all men. Therefore wise women do not wait from the husband of self-sacrifice and try to be reconciled with the fact that the man in something the big child — whimsical and requiring to itself attention.

And what is still very important: what crisis of family life it was not necessary to face, be it crisis of the birth of the child, or any other, the woman, without looking on any fatigue, surely has to try to watch the appearance, not to start itself to remain favourite and desired for the husband. Men are visual, and for the beloved the man is ready for any feats!

Video: family crisis after the child's birth

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