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If your husband mother's darling - what to do?

02 January 2018
в закладки
  1. From where mother's darlings undertake?
  2. How to accustom the husband to behave as a real man?
  3. Video: the man mother's darling how to be and what to do?

There are men who always remain children. With age at them only teachers and the cost of toys change. If in five years of the machine mummy chooses, then to the thirty-year-old boy the brand of a car is imposed by the spouse.

The husband of mother's darling, that is the eternal boy (in psychological sense of this word), is distinguished by such traits of character as dependence, inability by own efforts to solve own problems, compliance and softness of character, disbelief, excessive for the man, in the forces.

Such men, as it is not paradoxical, often reach for strong and self-sufficient women, but, at the same time, careful and indulgent which, figuratively speaking could replace with it mother.





But as most of women are focused on strong men, with pronounced purely male traits of character, mother's darlings very often have serious problems with organization of the private life. If such man manages to find the woman whom specifics of his character — then would triple everything normally. But, most often, women are disappointed in weak men and leave them.

From where mother's darlings undertake?

Psychologists claim that roots of this phenomenon go to the man's childhood. Typical mother's darling usually grows up in a family where he is the only child and where all decisions for it are made by mother. At such boy, as a result of maternal hyper guardianship, the uncertainty in itself and vital helplessness are gradually developed.

If imperious mother too abuses guardianship over the son, nipping any manifestation of his independence in the bud, at it the neurotic complex can even be created. Very many men, the victims of similar education, address specialists of psychoneurological hospitals subsequently with an inability problem to independently create the scenario of the life.

On the one hand, many women choosing in husbands of mother's darlings like to direct the husbands and to play a role of careful mother in their life. It is unlikely the woman preferring to deal with strong and self-sufficient men can be the spouse of the mother's sonny.

Such men are chosen, as a rule, in the woman's husbands with strongly developed maternal instinct or liking to play the first violin in a family. These women, some helplessness and dependence of the beloved not only does not push away, and, on the contrary, touches.




But not everything is as simple as it seems. Many women who are fondly believing that got to themselves the faithful, appeasable and compliant husband begin to understand over time that they very much even in vain hoped to own such man undividedly. It appears, they have a serious competitor against which to win equal fight there are no chances — mother of the husband (mother-in-law), in particular if the mother-in-law type "Owner".

Even after the son grew up, grew up and married, imperious and careful mummy very often continues to consider herself the main person in his life. Such development of the situation is especially probable if mother of mother's darling could not arrange safely the private life, lives in loneliness, and to it not one lump more to concentrate the guardianship and care.

Worst of all, that the daughter-in-law in such situation can be perceived not as the loved one and the family member, and as the competitor very much trying to incite the native son against mother and to separate him from it. And no reasonable arguments, in most cases, can convince the mother that she destroys life of own son, practically depriving of him family happiness.

How to accustom the husband to behave as a real man?

What to do to the woman if she sincerely fell in love with mother's darling, gave birth from him to children and very much wants to keep the relations? Whether it is possible to change such man?

It is recommended to wives of mother's darlings:

  • Slowly, but purposefully to accustom the husband to independence. For example, it is possible periodically to ask it to execute simple instructions: to take out garbage, to go to shop, to walk a dog, to take away in the child's garden and so on.
  • To become softer and womanly, to praise and thank darling every time when he shows an initiative in the solution of family or household questions. A praise — a good incentive for further feats and fulfillments.
  • To try to make friends (if it is possible) with his mother. It can achieve if to show it sincere care of her son, but, at the same time, to let know that it (that is mother) — the unsurpassed hostess with whom any daughter-in-law will not be able to compete.
  • To appreciate those merits which are available in the man, without focusing attention to lack of will power and combativity of character. Eventually, many husbands mother's darlings well prepare, gently love the children and wives, do not drink and do not smoke, and also bring a quite good salary from work.

If the man likes to play a role of the helpless child up to that he does not want neither to work, nor to carry out any family duties, and for years lives off the wife, it is necessary to think well — it is worth valuing the relations with such man and whether it is better to return such "treasure" to his mother.

Video: the man mother's darling how to be and what to do?

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