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The honors pupil's complex - a hindrance on the way to women's happiness

03 January 2018
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  1. Signs of a complex of the honors pupil
  2. Complex of the honors pupil and its consequence
  3. Ways of disposal of the honors pupil's complex
  4. Video: "Perfectionism. I want to make everything ideally!"

Pay attention as there is a lot of around beautiful, successful, but at the same time lonely women. At first sight, it seems very strange as it is the beautiful woman who achieved success in work and career, can have problems in private life and suffer from loneliness. Psychologists explain this phenomenon very simply: prevents to arrange own private life to many beautiful and successful women a so-called complex of the honors pupil — painful desire to be in everything the first and the best. This phenomenon is similar to perfectionism — belief that the ideal exists and it has to be surely reached in any ways.





Signs of a complex of the honors pupil

This complex has the following pronounced lines:

  • the strong, badly hidden envy to foreign progress;
  • the dependence on others opinion which is followed by sensitivity and vanity;
  • the exaggerated experiences because of own failures;
  • aspiration always and before all to look successful and happy;
  • rejection of "golden mean";
  • desire to hide the failures even from the closest people;
  • the aspiration to be on friendly terms and communicate only with successful and rich people;
  • tendency to a facade and boasting.

As we see, the woman with a complex of the honors pupil has not the best traits of character. And all because all her thoughts and feelings are absorbed only by one aspiration to success. And it is valid, the complex of the honors pupil is a powerful incentive to conquest of vital tops. To take the best place in the sun, such women are ready to work without cease, through a lot of things to cross and to offer much. And the most interesting that at everything at the same time they still manage to be beautiful and well-groomed — to dare to look bad not in their rules.

It would seem that in all this bad? And bad is that the honors pupil's complex — a serious hindrance on the way to personal happiness!

Alas, behind a mask of success of the woman often hide the soul suffering from loneliness and fatigue. Not only that the constant pursuit of success exhausts them physically and morally, so also the chronic loneliness forces to feel unfortunate. And these women are lonely because high insistence does not allow them to choose ordinary, not remarkable man for the relations. The prince, ideal in everything has to be their partner in life surely, beginning from appearance and finishing with situation in society. Women perfectionistic do not agree to smaller, and princes, as we know, are not enough for all. Besides, such ladies wait from the man of worship and admiration, and not each man is ready to waste compliments of the beloved all day long...




Eventually, many women with a complex of the honors pupil need support of the psychologist whom they are forced to address to learn what is with them not so and why personal happiness runs from them, as from fire. And very often happens that after the qualified help of the psychologist, the woman manages to realize the psychological problem, to understand its reasons and forever to get rid of it. And the reason of a complex of the honors pupil, as usual, is from the childhood. If parents constantly inspired in the daughter that she always and in everything has to be best of all and that it is a shame to be among the lagging behind losers, then the complex of the honors pupil turns out to be natural consequence of similar methods of education.

Complex of the honors pupil and its consequence

If in time not to realize a problem, then it is possible to acquire a set of troubles which last resort unwillingness to live:

  • Phobias develop at perfektsionistka most often. It both fear of a mistake, and fear to be rejected, and unwillingness to look in mirrors as there it is possible to see not absolutely ideal image.
  • Neurosises as regularity at constant emotional pressure. Over time they become chronic and prevent to live to not only the female honors pupil, but also people surrounding her.
  • Refusal of motherhood because of uncertainty that within his powers to cope perfectly well with incubation of the child, childbirth and process of education.
  • Divorce with the husband, as a result of disagreements with it against the background of infinite requirements of ideality in everything.
  • Alcohol intake can become a habit as a resort for removal of tension.
  • Suicide as result of strong blow and depression that all hopes fall and the woman it is not fated to achieve a limit of dreams.

Ways of disposal of the honors pupil's complex

If this problem is close to you, then here several advice of the psychologist which will help to win against this complex:

  1. Realize that ideal people are not and that there is no such person who would never make misses and mistakes.
  2. Learn to love in yourself not only advantages, but also qualities which you consider shortcomings. Understand that the true love is an unconditional acceptance of the person it what he is, with all possible imperfections. Here also fall in love with yourself such love!
  3. Learn to be independent of public opinion. Remember more often as far as it is changeable and is changeable.
  4. Lower claims not only to yourself, but also to other people. If you liked the man, try to accept and fall in love with him, despite the fact that, he is rich or is poor and what success could achieve in society. In a word, if you understand what is true love, and will be ready to such love, then it will surely come to you!

Video: "Perfectionism. I want to make everything ideally!"

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